If so, you’re not the only one. Doctors tell us that a significant portion of illness is brought on by stress.

I run into people everyday who are overwhelmed by schedules, relationships, finances, job demands and any number of other pressures. It fascinates me, however, that I also run into people everyday who are facing those same kinds of circumstantial demands yet somehow able to avoid high levels of stress.

I love the analogy of a roller coaster. Everyone on the ride is experiencing a very similar circumstance, but not everyone has the same experience. Some are overwhelmed and terrified, while others are having the time of their lives. The difference is determined by perspective. If I’m overwhelmed it can very often be because I’m choosing the wrong perspective.

“The roller coaster analogy is useful in explaining why the same stressor can differ so much for each of us. What distinguished the passengers in the back from those up front was the sense of control they had over the event. While neither group had any more or less control their perceptions and expectations were quite different. Many times we create our own stress because of faulty perceptions you can learn to correct.” – The American Institute of Stress http://www.stress.org/topic-definition-stress.htm

We create our own stress. How? By the perceptions we embrace. A helpful study from Weber State University demonstrates that a trait they call “hardiness” is plays a huge role in determining our stress levels within various circumstances. (see: http://faculty.weber.edu/molpin/healthclasses/1110/bookchapters/stresseffectschapter.htm for more on that study.)

Hardiness is defined by three characteristics.

Commitment – I am deeply engaged in my present involvements. We live in a culture where people are largely disengaged from their present reality. We spend our lives wishing we were somewhere else and escaping to some other place. A man on the job wishes he was on the golf course. A man on the golf course is distracted by the unfinished to-do list at work. A stay-at-home mom fantasizes about returning to her career and escaping the demands of screaming babies. A corporate executive fantasizes about being able to stay at home and be with her kids. Our unwillingness to commit our full presence and engagement to our present circumstance sets us up to experience stress, no matter our circumstance. The underlying assumption of this perspective is that we are victims. We are powerless. We have to do this but long to be free to do otherwise. The answer to this is rarely to change your circumstances. The stress isn’t coming from the circumstance. It’s coming from your belief that you aren’t in control. That you HAVE TO be here and can’t be elsewhere. It comes from feeling out of control. Don’t change your circumstance. Commit. Engage. Be fully present. Take dominion where you are. Choose it. It’s what you were made for.

Control – I believe my choices will influence outcomes. Stress increases when my options are removed. I do this to myself simply by believing I have no options, that my capacity to choose is irrelevant. But this belief is itself a choice, one that is actually influencing my present experience of stress a great deal. The reality is that much of my present reality is simply the result of a long series of choices I have made–choices about beliefs, perspectives, and circumstances. I am responsible. My choices have produced the current state of affairs. I am powerful. Of course, things do happen that are beyond my control–bad things, terrible things, even evil things. But I still have a choice regarding my response, my outlook, my attitude, and my ultimate source. No one can take that choice from me. No one. When I choose to believe that I don’t have these options or that choosing them won’t matter I increase my experience of stress.

Challenge – I believe that life will require me to change allowing for growth. What I expect matters. If I’m moving forward into life expecting I won’t have to change or grow, I’m setting myself of for unmet expectations. I’m setting myself up for stress. If my present circumstances are pressing me to adapt and grow, and they always are, then my expectation will determine much regarding how I will experience this challenge. If I am anticipating the challenge, I can lean into the change and growth demanded. I can choose it. I can embrace it. On the other hand, if I am anticipating ease and comfort, I will be taken by surprise when life becomes difficult and I will resist internal change and growth, requiring my circumstances to change instead of me. More stress.

When I choose to inwardly disengage from my present reality, believe that I’m powerless within my present circumstance, and react with surprise when life demands change and growth, then I’m setting myself to be miserable on the roller coaster that is life.

I was made to take dominion not to be a victim.

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion..’” (Genesis 1:26a, ESV)

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1. You must examine the right person.

So often, when we are struggling to forgive ourselves, the obstacle we face is a deep awareness of our own guilt. We KNOW we are guilty. We did it. Forgiving ourselves can feel like the moral equivalent of saying 1+1=3. It’s just not right and saying that it is right doesn’t make it so. We know we’re guilty. Saying that we’re not just doesn’t sit well. As long as we are examining self, this will be our conclusion. But God, in forgiving us, doesn’t examine us. He examines Jesus. He declares us innocent, not on the basis of examining our righteousness (or lack thereof), but on the basis of examining Jesus’ righteousness. If I want to begin to see myself as righteous, the way God sees me, then I must begin to examine the right person. If I’m struggling to forgive myself, then very likely I am evaluating my own righteousness instead of Jesus’ righteousness.

2. You must receive grace at the level of identity.

Through the cross, God has provided an offering for our sin. Payment has been rendered for our guilt. God’s wrath toward sin has been propitiated through Jesus’ blood. It is possible to fully embrace this and still struggle to forgive self. We understand that payment has been made for what we’ve done, but we also retain a deep awareness that we are the kind of person who would do such things. We know we have a guilt problem. But we intuitively know that our problem is deeper than that. It’s not just that I commit sins; it’s that I am a sinner. It’s not just that I do bad things; it’s that I’m the kind of person who would do them. Our problem isn’t simply a behavior problem, it’s an identity problem. So though we accept Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross as God’s provision for our guilt, we remain aware of who we really are and live continually under that burden of shame. We need a revelation that on the cross, Jesus provided for more than just our guilt. Jesus took my guilt to the cross, but he took more than just my guilt. He took me to the cross too (see Gal 2:20). Once I begin to receive Jesus’ death, not just as God’s answer for my guilt, but also as God’s provision to make me a brand new kind of person, then I am able to see the old me as crucified, dead, and buried and can embrace God’s perspective about who I am in Christ.

3. You must exercise your will.

When I choose to examine my own lack of righteousness and judge myself guilty as a result, then I am, in that moment, exercising my will to agree with the accuser (the devil) about myself. When I choose to bring my guilt to the cross but not my identity, I am exercising my will to hang on to identifying myself with the old man/sin nature instead of identifying myself with Christ. In both cases I am exercising my will in disagreement with God’s truth. To truly forgive myself, I must exercise my will to enter into agreement with God’s valuation of Jesus’ blood on the cross for me and God’s identification of me with Christ in his death and resurrection. What might it look like to exercise your will in this way?  Pray something like this right now:

Heavenly Father, today I choose to agree with you about the sufficiency of Jesus’ blood. I agree with you that Jesus’ righteousness is perfect in every way and that my status before you is solely based upon your examination of Jesus’ righteousness imputed to me on the basis of faith alone. You are not examining my righteousness so neither will I. I also choose to not only bring my guilt to the cross. Today I choose to bring who I am to the cross. Thank you that when Jesus died, my old sinful nature died too. Thank you that in Christ, I am a brand new kind of person. Thank you that you’ve given me a new nature, your nature. In Jesus name, Amen.

I got to catch Lauren when she was born. My hands were the first to touch her. My eyes were the first to see her pointy head and screaming face. Her head isn’t pointy anymore. That lasted about three days. She doesn’t scream anymore, that lasted off and on for three years. I almost dropped her. It was an overwhelming, terrifying, invigorating, stunning experience. I remember drawing her to myself and praying a blessing over her before I handed her to her mom, who, after all, had done all the work. I passed on the generous opportunity presented by our midwife for me to cut the cord. No thank you.

Life. What is it? When Lauren was born I remember our midwife taking her and beginning to check her for various vitals necessary to indicate her health.

Her life.

 Is that what life is? Respiratory function, circulation, muscle response, temperature? Lauren is fifteen years old now and she certainly has all of the physical indicators that reassure us she is living. But there’s a vibrancy about her that goes beyond what a doctor could measure. She carries an energy of joy and purpose, a creative force, a weight of significance that is more truly descriptive of her life. The same is true in all three of my kids. As Lauren grows in her own connection with God through Christ, I see something even more difficult to describe forming in her, something eternal, something glorious. What is life?

Life in the Gospels

Life is a constant theme of scripture. In the New Testament we discover a savior who came to give his life.

“even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  (Matthew 20:28, ESV)

Not only did Jesus come to lay his life down, he himself is life. Life is something he possesses. It is also something he is.

“In him was life, and the life was the light of men.” (John 1:4, ESV)

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live ” (John 11:25, ESV)

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6, ESV)

Life is something we need to lose in order to find. This method of discovery seems to exclude lots of people who would prefer to do the finding without the losing.

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39, ESV)

“For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. ” (Matthew 7:14, ESV)

But life is what Jesus came to bring us.

“but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  (John 4:14, ESV)

“For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom he will.” (John 5:21, ESV)

“For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.” Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. ” (John 6:33–35, ESV)

“It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. ” (John 6:63, ESV)

“Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,” (John 6:68, ESV)

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. ” (John 10:10, ESV)

 “And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent ” (John 17:3, ESV)

What is this life that Jesus came to bring us? It is certainly more than lung function, heartbeat, and brain activity. It goes beyond the capacity to feel, think, and desire. The life Jesus gives is an eternal kind of life, but even this is insufficient for this phrase might tell us Jesus came so our heartbeat, breathing, and brain function will continue forever. Jesus’ kind of life does more than merely continue into infinity. It nourishes. It satisfies. It’s relational and intimate, experiential. It is spiritual and divine. To think of eternal life simply in terms of infinite chronology fails to acknowledge the qualitative essence of Jesus’ kind of life by focusing exclusively on the one trait that is quantitative. Jesus is the Way to God. He is the Truth about God. He is the Life of God. Through Christ we can again be connected to God. This is life.

Life in the Beginning

Life appears as a multilayered, difficult to pin down, kind of thing right from the beginning. In a very real sense, all living animals, even bugs, have the breath of life.

“And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. ” (Genesis 1:30, ESV)

But the creation of man is separated from the rest of the creation narrative.

“then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. ” (Genesis 2:7, ESV)

We see the creation of Adam’s body when God formed him from the dirt. We see life enter his being through what I can only picture as a kind of holy CPR. But this breath of life, though exactly the same in verbiage as the breath of life in Gen 1:30, has a very different result. Man became a living creature. Other translations say “living being.” Still others say “living soul.” Man became a soul. He became a person, a self, one capable of connection to and relationship with God. Adam was alive. Of course this means his heart was beating, his lungs were breathing, and his brain was active. More than this, it means Adam was self-aware, a complex being with a capacity for learning, reason, feeling, and choice unique within all creation. But even more than this, it means Adam was connected to God. He wasn’t simply a soul. He was a living soul.

When we see the idea of life in the Old Testament through the lens of Christ in the New Testament, it becomes very clear that the kind of life that matters most is God’s kind of life, the kind of life man only experiences when he is connected to God relationally, experientially. It is a Father/Child relationship. It is an owner / steward partnership. It is man being fully alive because his source is God who is himself life.

What is Death?

“And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. ” (Genesis 2:9, ESV)

“but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” ” (Genesis 2:17, ESV)

Death is the absence of life. God, as a good parent will, made the boundary very clear as well as the consequence. If you eat the Knowledge of Good and Evil you will die. So Adam did eat of this strange fruit that was knowledge. And that very day Adam died. Understanding what Adam lost that day will help us more clearly understand what life really is. If death is the absence of life, then life can be defined as whatever Adam lost that day.

“Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. ” (Genesis 3:7, ESV)

They ate the fruit and the first thing that happened was a new awareness, a foreign feeling, a consciousness of self that had never occurred to them before. If prior to that moment they had never been self-conscious in this way, what exactly had they been conscious of? In that moment they lost their God awareness, their connection, their focus upon the One who had up to this point filled all their awareness with his worth, beauty, and sufficiency.

“But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” ” (Genesis 3:9, ESV)

It is certain that this question does not indicate any confusion on God’s part regarding Adam’s location. Nevertheless something has changed, and this question helps us begin to see exactly what. “Where are you?” points to separation. Man has lost his connection to God. This separation is further demonstrated in verse 23.

“therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. ” (Genesis 3:23, ESV)

No longer will God be man’s source. Going forward, man will be his own source. His own ingenuity and labor will be his sustenance.  What is death? It is disconnection from God, self-consciousness, and self-reliance. If this is death, then what is life? Life is connection to God, being supremely aware of God, and relying fully upon God.

It’s true that our choices can limit our experience of God’s voice. When we fail to steward well what he has already said we might limit what he says now. To him who has, more will be given. To him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. This is sometimes the dynamic at work when we experience the silence of God.

But not always.

Sometimes God is silent because we are asking the wrong question. I’ve experienced this most often when seeking direction or guidance. I want to hear God within certain categories. I want him to speak into the category of behavior. What do you want me to do? Or I want him to speak into my circumstances. Where should I work? Where should I live? Where should I go to school? I have found that God definitely does speak into these categories, but they are at times not at the top of his priority list. When I’m asking questions within these categories and getting silence in response, I’ve learned to try switching categories. Identity and Core Beliefs: Father, is there anything you want to tell me/show me today about who you are in my life? About who I am in you?

Changing categories is like tuning the radio dial. Sometimes when we begin seeking God’s revelation in the area of Identity and Core Beliefs it’s like tuning in to the frequency upon which his voice is being transmitted. Once I dial in, it becomes easy to hear. In this case silence didn’t mean that God wasn’t talking, it simply meant that I was asking about something he wasn’t speaking about. I was focused where he wasn’t focused. I was trying to change things that won’t change anything that matters.

Sometimes our questions about behavior and environment are greeted with silence because we have misunderstood the way God desires to relate to us in these matters. We understand that God desires obedience (which is true), and from this we assume that God therefore must want a master/servant relationship with us. He must want a puppet-master/puppet relationship with us. But is this really the case? When God directs us he expects obedience. True. But does God always direct?

This line of thinking leads to a possible redefinition of what it means for us to be made in God’s “image” and to be given “dominion” and commissioned to “subdue” the earth. Once we begin to view our relationship with God through the filter of Genesis 1 & 2, we end up with more of an owner/steward model of relationship than a master/slave model.

Picture the moment when Adam began to name the animals. The Bible says that whatever Adam named them, that was their name. Can you imagine with me if Adam had constantly been asking God what to name them? His question might have been greeted with silence. But what would this silence mean? God doesn’t approve? I’ve done something wrong? I can’t hear God? Not necessarily! God’s silence in this case would have meant something else entirely. Adam, I have given you authority. I have made you in my image. I have commissioned you to take dominion and subdue the earth. You need to do the job I’ve given you to do. More than that, you need to give expression to the man I’ve made you to be.

What is God’s will? Sometimes God wills for us to exercise our will. So don’t misunderstand God’s silence. Adjust your categories. Ask God to speak to you about who he is and who you are in him. Begin to respond by aligning your perceptions of reality in congruence with his presence and voice. If God has opinions about issues of behavior and environment, allow him to speak into those things and be sure to obey him. That’s what stewards do when owners direct. But if the owner is silent, it may be because he expects you to do business with what he’s given you. His will may be for you to exercise your will in keeping with who he is and who you are in him.

Romans 6:5-11

Matthew 16:24-25
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.(ESV)

One of my favorite movies is The Princess Bride. There’s a scene where one of the main characters is continually using the word “inconceivable.” The events that to him are “inconceivable” keep happening. His concept of what is impossible keeps running into the brick wall called reality. At one point, another character says “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”

“Dying to Self” is a phrase I often hear spoken by my friends at church. My department even offers a class with that title. It’s a deep and meaningful phrase but sometimes I wonder if it means what we think it means. The phrase “dying to self” doesn’t appear in scripture. We are to “deny self”. We are to “take up our cross”. We are to “consider ourselves dead”. We are to “lose our life”. All of these are ways, I think, of expressing the same idea and “dying to self” is a great way to express this idea. But I’ve noticed a tendency to misunderstand a key aspect of what it means. I often hear “dying to self” used to indicate a need to die. Used this way, dying to self is something we ought to do that we haven’t yet done.

But the Bible is clear. In Christ, I have already died. I’m dead. Buried. Crucified. It’s already happened. It’s a present reality because of a past occurrence. Hence Paul’s instruction in Rom 6:11 that we should “consider” ourselves dead. Another translation says we should “reckon” ourselves to be dead. This is an accounting term. His point is that since we are already dead, we should accurately account for this reality, considering ourselves dead, reckoning ourselves dead, marking ourselves in the “already dead” column of the account.

The point of “dying to self” isn’t that I need to die, but rather that I need to align myself with the truth that I am already dead.

What is Keeping You from the Father? – Alan Smith | Teaching Audio

AlanSmith_Sermon_WhatsInMyAccount

This is the message I gave last weekend at Crossroads Church in Decatur, TX.

It’s about responsibility. Specifically – who is responsible for who and what? If this piece is not right little else will matter. Since Adam & Eve people have been getting this one wrong. Adam blamed God and Eve for his choices. Eve blamed the devil. I blame the guy who cut me off in traffic for my anger. You blame your unhappiness on your boss, your job, your spouse, your kids, your dad, your mom…

I’m not ok and it’s not my fault. This is the filter through which most people judge things. What if it’s a totally wrong assumption?

This one wrong assumption about reality has an unbelievable ripple effect. If I’m not responsible for how I’m doing and others are responsible, then it follows that others must have control over my inner reality.

“He makes me so mad!” is a common expression of this assumption. If others have control over my inner world then this implies one person can control another. If others are controlling me then it follows that to some extent I can control them. This is why blame always leads to control. We seek to control those who we hold responsible for our pain in an effort to reduce pain and avoid responsibility.

That’s the big one. Who exactly is responsible for my internal world? If I’m unhappy then who is to blame? Others who make decisions that “make me” feel this or that are to blame. To correct this I seek to control their decisions. Or, I hold myself responsible for their decisions. Specifically I hold myself responsible to make sure justice is done and things are made right concerning their decisions. I do this with my anger, resentment, passive-aggression, or any of a number of other methods we all know.

They are responsible for my pain.

I am responsible for their decisions.

This is the problem.

When I forgive I choose to release my sense of responsibility for justice concerning their decisions. Their decisions are their own – between them and God. At the same time I choose to release them from responsibility for my pain. My pain is my own. They are not my source of peace, joy, contentment, satisfaction, love, value or anything else. If they are not my source, then they are not in control of my inner world. If they are not my source then they cannot cut off my supply. No matter what they do.

If I’m not ok, I have no one to blame. But God is my source, so I’m not left alone. I have a place I can bring my pain, receive healing, and a fresh supply of all those things that can only come from Him. But it has to be my pain I bring Him. I can’t bring him the pain I hold everyone else responsible for. I can’t have Him for a source if my blame of others proves that in fact they’re my source instead of Him.

Blame and control are killers. Taking responsibility for my own inner reality makes blame and control nonsensical. When I take responsibility for my inner world I take my place as the rightful delegated steward of that which God has given me. When I’m rightly aligned with God’s delegated stewardship I can receive from Him all that is needed to maintain peace and joy regardless of circumstances or the choices of others.

Apart from forgiveness I abdicate my responsibility and perpetuate the cycle of blame and control ongoing since Adam and Eve. I’m tired of living that way. You?

2 Corinthians 5:16-17

In my last post I discussed the previous two versus. Paul states that he is controlled by Christ’s love because 1) Christ died for him and 2) When Christ died, Paul died. A revelation of the sufficiency of the Cross changes everything. Because Christ died for me, my standing before God has changed. I have been made righteous. I have been included in the convenant family as a son. Because I died in Christ I have been given a new nature. I am a new person. The old me has been removed.

In these verses Paul continues to develop this idea. A revelation of the sufficiency of the Cross transforms the way I relate to other believers. Because Jesus died for them, because when Jesus died they also died, they too have a new status before God and a new nature. They too have had their old nature removed. They too are righteous. They too are sons. They too are carriers of the divine nature.

So Paul says we are to know no one according to the flesh. This is so very important. Here we clearly see that Paul understands that what we see in someone’s flesh is often incongruent with what is true about their identity in Christ. We must see beyond that which is observable with our natural eyes and choose to see people as heaven sees them. The old things really have passed away. If we only observe the flesh we will not think the old things have passed away. We will relate to people on that basis, as if the old things were still present. But if we understand the sufficiency of the Cross, then we will see others through the lens of His perfect provision.

What if we were to determine to shift the way we see others in light of this truth? What if we were to choose to relate to others solely on the basis of their identity in Christ rather than their current attitudes, behaviors, or shortcomings? What if we were to begin to relate to our children this way? Our spouses?

I believe there is something powerful and redemptive released among us when we choose to see one another as God sees us – in Christ.