Sometimes God isn’t answering the questions I’m asking. His silence can at times seem deafening. Is something wrong with me? What if I just can’t hear what he’s saying? Does his silence indicate disapproval?
It’s true that our choices can limit our experience of God’s voice. When we fail to steward well what he has already said we might limit what he says now. To him who has, more will be given. To him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. This is sometimes the dynamic at work when we experience the silence of God.
But not always.
Sometimes God is silent because we are asking the wrong question. I’ve experienced this most often when seeking direction or guidance. I want to hear God within certain categories. I want him to speak into the category of behavior. What do you want me to do? Or I want him to speak into my circumstances. Where should I work? Where should I live? Where should I go to school? I have found that God definitely does speak into these categories, but they are at times not at the top of his priority list. When I’m asking questions within these categories and getting silence in response, I’ve learned to try switching categories. Identity and Core Beliefs: Father, is there anything you want to tell me/show me today about who you are in my life? About who I am in you?
Changing categories is like tuning the radio dial. Sometimes when we begin seeking God’s revelation in the area of Identity and Core Beliefs it’s like tuning in to the frequency upon which his voice is being transmitted. Once I dial in, it becomes easy to hear. In this case silence didn’t mean that God wasn’t talking, it simply meant that I was asking about something he wasn’t speaking about. I was focused where he wasn’t focused. I was trying to change things that won’t change anything that matters.
Sometimes our questions about behavior and environment are greeted with silence because we have misunderstood the way God desires to relate to us in these matters. We understand that God desires obedience (which is true), and from this we assume that God therefore must want a master/servant relationship with us. He must want a puppet-master/puppet relationship with us. But is this really the case? When God directs us he expects obedience. True. But does God always direct?
This line of thinking leads to a possible redefinition of what it means for us to be made in God’s “image” and to be given “dominion” and commissioned to “subdue” the earth. Once we begin to view our relationship with God through the filter of Genesis 1 & 2, we end up with more of an owner/steward model of relationship than a master/slave model.
Picture the moment when Adam began to name the animals. The Bible says that whatever Adam named them, that was their name. Can you imagine with me if Adam had constantly been asking God what to name them? His question might have been greeted with silence. But what would this silence mean? God doesn’t approve? I’ve done something wrong? I can’t hear God? Not necessarily! God’s silence in this case would have meant something else entirely. Adam, I have given you authority. I have made you in my image. I have commissioned you to take dominion and subdue the earth. You need to do the job I’ve given you to do. More than that, you need to give expression to the man I’ve made you to be.
What is God’s will? Sometimes God wills for us to exercise our will. So don’t misunderstand God’s silence. Adjust your categories. Ask God to speak to you about who he is and who you are in him. Begin to respond by aligning your perceptions of reality in congruence with his presence and voice. If God has opinions about issues of behavior and environment, allow him to speak into those things and be sure to obey him. That’s what stewards do when owners direct. But if the owner is silent, it may be because he expects you to do business with what he’s given you. His will may be for you to exercise your will in keeping with who he is and who you are in him.
28 Comments
Great post, Alan. Many of us have been blown by the evil tricks of the enemy not just in the soul level, but he will try to hurt our spirit (identity level) … glad you’re helping people to re-wire their thinking in a deep and high level. Again, great post!!!
Wow, Alan!! For an article that talks about “not speaking”. This spoke VOLUMES to me! This really helped me to think about the times that I have heard God already and have just simply discredited it or ignored it. Keep writing, its a blessing to me and many others!
Now that is Thinking Differently…I love how you teach me…about thinking, and about God’s Nature. Great Post
“I was trying to change things that won’t change anything that matters.” That one struck me. I’ve got lots of circumstances that I’m seeking God about right now, but I need to consider that maybe he’s not speaking about my circumstances right now… but about my heart, and my response to those circumstances.
Great post, Alan. Thank you.
Wow this really helped me with some things. I’ve been seeking God in some things and some it seems like I haven’t heard him all that much or i just didn’t credit what he gave me enough, and this helped me to see this situation maybe is not that big of a priority right now
This is great Alan, very thought provoking!
I’ve heard you teach on this before and I’ve never been the same since! Coming from a strict Calvinistic background this revolutionized my thinking on stewardship and personal responsibility… Thanks Alan!
As usual your teaching is out of the box and makes perfect sense. I love that at times God allows us to chose the direction we want to go. Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you ~~~ could that include trusting us to choose.
Alright, I’m gonna be “that guy”. First, let me say that Alan Smith is one of the best friends I have had in my 38 years of living. He loves me beyond measure and I feel the same for him.
I am not a believer as most of you that read Alan’s blog are. I say this with humility and ask for your respect as I will give you mine.
Alan, if I’m out of line posting in this space, you asking me no to do so will be completely cool. I mean to dialogue, not to show any semblance of disrespect or start some sort of negative conversation between believers.
Here’s my Screwtape thoughts:
The God you speak of here comes off as capricious, to me. As a father, when my son asks uncomfortable, irritating, or merely inane questions, my response is NEVER silence. I may, in fact, require HIM to be silent! But always with a clear and concise response. In other words, I don’t leave him wondering, hoping, or guessing. He doesn’t need to seek counsel from others as to what his father is trying to say. If he does have questions, he is confident, via historical experience, that he can ask his father directly any question he can dream up. And he WILL receive an answer. (However, admittedly inept it may be!)
Alan, how can you explain to me the silence of my “heavenly father”?
I ask these questions with an open mind, an open heart, and usually an open mouth! I beg the indulgence of your audience here.
Thanks for sharing your understanding of scripture and thanks (even more so) for your undeniable love and understanding of your crazy little brother!
Jace
Hi Jace!
When I speak of God’s silence, I’m not at all saying that God is not responding, that he’s not speaking. I’m talking more about the experience from our side. If my radio is silent, it’s not because 97.1 The Edge isn’t broadcasting. A receiver has to be operated. You’ve got to activate it by turning it on then yo have to tune in to the appropriate frequency. When believers are struggling to hear God, I am convinced it isn’t because he’s not speaking, but rather because we haven’t learned to tune in.
The issues I addressed in this article have to do with things on our end that clog up the works.
I too am a parent and of course I answer my kids when they ask me a question. Here’s another reality though. My kids all have an amazing ability to not hear me. I’m talking but they aren’t listening for what I’m saying. If I whisper “ice cream” they come running from accross the house. If I shout “come clean the kitchen” they have a knack for sudden deafness.
We all have selective hearing. Hearing isn’t just about what is transmitted, it’s about the filters, expectations, and assumptions on the part of the hearer.
My article doesn’t speak to the capriciousness of God at all, but rather to the need for us to adjust our hearing intentionally.
God created everything by his word. He sustains everything by his word. Faith comes by hearing his word. His words are spirit and life. They are bread. They are always available. Always.
Love you friend.
Alan
By the way…if you are reading this, you shold definitely check out http://jaceeverett.com/
Jace is an amazing singer/songwriter/performer. Buy his music. He can use the money. You can use some good music.
Alan
As always I can see both points of view on this subject and admire both of you for sharing your thoughts! I totally agree with your response Son!! As Garth Brooks said…some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers…….We can probably all look back and relate to that…….Love You Both!!!
Hi, Jace: as a believer, and hopefully a critical thinker, let me say, I appreciate your question very much and get no negative or disrespectful vibe from it all. Great question (and, of course, a great response)! Love this thread!
Jace…I want to say also that I totally love the spirit in which you asked AND the question itself. Seems to me this is absolutely the place (and the person, great response Alan!) to ask. True seeking is so much more like our creator, than some of the vitriolic exchanges I have seen offered up “in the name” of faith. Love this convo!
I must add that the first part of this article is closer to what Jace was likely addressing. The bit about limiting what God says in the now by not stewarding the things he said before.
I do not believe this is punitive silence or some kind of passive aggressive immaturity on God’s part. When I elect to shut my ears to his voice, God’s own commitment to my freedom of choice dictates that he allows me to choose deafness.
He lets the rich young ruler walk away and doesn’t even try to talk him out of it. But he is sad. And he loves him. He allows him the freedom to hear and then choose not to listen and then not hear at all.
Everybody, thanks for the kind responses. Alan, thanks for letting me participate.
Here’s the bit I find most troubling, “We understand that God desires obedience (which is true), and from this we assume that God therefore must want a master/servant relationship with us. He must want a puppet-master/puppet relationship with us. But is this really the case? When God directs us he expects obedience. True. But does God always direct?”
There appears to be a lot of linguistic gymnastics going on. Answers, followed by unanswerable/rhetorical questions (not to confuse unanswerable with rhetorical as they are vastly divergent), followed with truisms (not to be confused with truth), then amended with an additional Sphinx- like query.
We’re I to build this theoretical labyrinth of moral and ethical cat and mouse for my own son it would be rightly asserted that CPS should become grossly involved!
In short, my child would be so bewildered with conflicting information he would be paralyzed. One step up, two steps back. As a loving father, I would never hold back knowledge from him that might better his life.
Furthermore, I would never let him “walk away without even trying to talk him out of it” and then “be sad”. I’m sorry, but that seems to be a text book example of emotional immaturity. Narcissistic and sanctimonious even.
I’m not saying God or an earthly father shouldn’t allow his child to find success on his own terms. Or, the more likely teacher, failure. This is necessary for the evolution of the individual.
What I am saying is that, again, to me, the level of “radio silence” your talking about doesn’t seem constructive. It seems fatuous. It seems pre-meditatively punitive.
Capricious even.
I am blessed. I don’t believe this is the nature of God. But it concerns me that others might.
I promise to shut up now!
Be well,
Jace
Jace,
I think you may be misunderstanding the point I’m attempting to make. To get my side of the discussion, it’s helpful to keep in mind the other side of the discussion, the idea I’m responding to.
Your current position isn’t the one I’m addressing. Many believers have a view of God that is deterministic and directive. God demands obedience and this is the only relational dynamic that is present. To love God is to obey him. Period.
I’m quite certain this is not your view. It is not mine either. God does give us freedom. He did allow Adam & Eve to take of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Was he clear on the front end that this was a bad choice? Of course, but did he exert his power to stop them? No
What I’m arguing for here is that a owner/steward model of relationship is more accurate than a master/slave model.
Take a baseball team for example. What is the relationship between the owner and the GM? How are decisions made between them?
It appears to me that decisions between an owner and a GM occur upon a fairly broad continuum. There are times when the owner makes a completely unilateral decision. The GM better say “yes sir” if he wants to keep his job. There are times when the GM makes a unilateral decision within the scope of his delegated authority and the owner reads about that player transaction in the paper. There are also times when the owner and gm discuss things and make decisions together.
In scripture, I find this same continuum to exist between God and Man. This is really all I’m arguing for in my post.
As a parent, to go back to your metaphor, which of these models best describes the way you relate to your son? Do you always unilaterally direct him? Do you always let him decide everything without your input? Or does the spectrum of decision making process move up and down a spectrum where as he grows and matures your desire is to direct less and see him more and more make responsible decisions on his own?
I think I know you enough to believe that the actual way you parent is very much like the way I believe God relates to us.
Your responses indicate you are reading my post through a “Alan is saying God is arbitrarily silent” filter. This is not what I’m saying at all.
There are times my kids come to me and I am silent. I don’t always answer their questions. “What am I getting for Christmas Daddy?” “I’m not going to answer that sweetie, it would ruin the surprise.”
“What should I major in when I go to college?”
“Well honey, what do you wan to major in? I have some thoughts about it, but this really needs to be your decision”
See, I’m not really talking about silence, I’m talking about God no complying with our assumptions about him always wanting to direct every aspect of our lives. When we listen to God through that limiting filter, it produces an experience of silence that is unhelpful, unnecessary, and unreal.
Hope that helps bro!
Hi,
I would like to address something Jace said,
“There appears to be a lot of linguistic gymnastics going on. Answers, followed by unanswerable/rhetorical questions (not to confuse unanswerable with rhetorical as they are vastly divergent), followed with truisms (not to be confused with truth), then amended with an additional Sphinx- like query.”
Alan is Pastor Alan to many people. Pastor Alan is a teacher that is deeply respected and much followed. There are people (like myself) that come and sit and listen to Alan so that we can go back to God with a deeper understanding of who He is (capital H denotes God) and with a gentler approach to what we believe about ourselves so that we can hear God more clearly. I can understand why someone that has not “sat at the feet of Rabbi Alan” would find your above statement valid. I have been sitting at his and others’ feet, (so don’t get a big head here Alan, lol) for almost 5 years. He writes to an audience that has a deeper level of connectedness with his thoughts and the processes by which he presents them. Alan provokes me to question the status quo of my upbringing and past, to challenge my reactions and thoughts concerning God and most importantly to go seek them for myself… from God.
An outsider to the way Alan writes when he is working from his Pastor-state (?) would not hear his voice with the challenges at the right places, nor with the inflections pointing what he is saying to be taken in a particular way.
Alan, you are complex and can be hard to read on paper for the above reasons, but I would not trade that in for a moment. It is a big part of why God likes having me “sitting at the feet of Pastor Alan.”
“His will may be for you to exercise your will in keeping with who he is and who you are in him.”
And this has been the exact assignment for me since Friday afternoon. I have changed during these past few days due to the simple fact that God was silent. He had comforted me, given me revelation and confirmation,
Like a father that has taught his son how to hit a ball, when the child is at the plate during the game, the father should be silent for those few seconds it takes for the son to gather himself together and take stock in himself and apply all the things he has learned from his father. The child will now be able to understand himself and his father (not to mention the game) on a far deeper level simply because the father let the son exercise his own will at the moment of decision.
Thank you God, for your love and confidence in me, that I some times interrept as silence.
Cindy,
Making me sound like a cult leader might not be helpful. I’m trying to keep that bit secret.
BTW…Jace and I have been dear friends for 27 years. There is no need to defend me to him.
Alan
Alan,
You AREN’T a cult leader? Oh dear! Now what is a girl to do?
LOL
But on a serious note, no matter how I put your leadership role it comes out sounding strange unless the person reading my words are in a similar place in their Christian walk. And yes, I saw your Bell the Cat blog. Lots of my online dialogue is for your eyes but also for the others that follow you.
Just saying.
What a perspective shifting article. I keep coming back to it. I keep sharing it. That whole bit about Adam naming the animals is a brilliant illustration. Thank you for sharing.
Jace and Alan,
The conversation between the two of you seems to be demonstrating the point of this blog quite poignantly…
Alan, I appreciate this idea and admit that as a parent, even before reading the comments, my mind immediately jumped to the parallel of parenting. Wouldn’t all parents like to think that our words of wisdom are just that, even if the advice we give isn’t taken to heart immediately by our offspring? We’d like to think that, but we can probably all agree that’s not so (whether or not we believe in the God of Abraham), which brings me to my question:
This idea opens up a very large can of worms (for me, anyway). If God is (unlike parents) omniscient, all-powerful, etc… doesn’t this idea belie that? Doesn’t it require humans to lean awfully heavily themselves instead of Him? It seems to me that the message here, taken to its logical conclusion, is that unless I am tuned in to 97.1 FM, God can talk all he wants and I won’t hear.
Perhaps Jace is saying that a god who requires us to “tune in” to his frequency in order to obtain useful information (aka “His voice”) is arbitrary and possibly cruel because he knows that, as a father, he will change the channel as often as necessary to make sure his child hears his voice.
Or perhaps I’m mishearing both of you… Thoughts?
Lenore,
I don’t think I’m saying at all that God is arbitrary or cruel. It seems like the parenting metaphor you are using actually serves to help clarify my point. Every child has to learn to recognize their parents’ voice. I believe this begins even in the womb, but it does not happen instantly. Every child has to learn their parents’ language. This too happens in process over time. More than this, every child has to learn to know their parents’ heart, to trust their good intentions, their wisdom, their perspective, to surrender.
I have three amazing kids and here is what I observe. I talk and they don’t hear. Why? Because they’re not “tuned in”. Their focus is elsewhere. This doesn’t make me arbitrary or cruel. As a good parent, part of my job is to help them learn to hear at every level: what I’m saying, as well as my heart for them behind what I’m saying.
Think of Neo in The Matrix. He wakes up and one of his first comments is that his eyes feel weird. Morpheus says “That’s because you’ve never used them before.” The whole movie is about the process of Neo learning to see differently, to hear differently, to be conformed to a whole new reality.
That God’s Kingdom is a new reality and that we must learn in process to see and hear differently if we are to experience the life of this Kingdom doesn’t make God cruel or arbitrary.
There is a very real sense in which God does meet us at our level. He meets us where we are. The incarnation powerfully demonstrates this. But he doesn’t meet us at our level because our level is “the place to be.” He meets us at our level in order to take us to a different level. But this requires that we experience some significant stretching in the way we perceive things and how we respond.
Many who initially meet Christ “on their level” get frustrated in this process. Sometimes it even seems like God isn’t talking. Now that would be arbitrary – if God just quit talking. But what if, like a parent who steps away from a todler who is learning to walk so that child can stretch out and stumble forward and learn to walk, God’s voice “steps away” so that we can learn to hear differently, see differrently?
What if it would’t be wise for God to simply keep speaking “at our level?” – about instructions, when we need to listen for identity, about behavior when we need to hear about core beliefs, about earth when we need to experience heaven?
To me, this process feels a lot like “tuning in” to God. If that analogy doesn’t work, let’s find another one. But let’s not assume that God is cruel or arbitrary because he is willing to allow us to feel uncomfortable in order to help us grow up.
Alan,
Just to clarify, I didn’t think YOU were implying that God is arbitrary or cruel; I was simplifying what I understand Jace to be saying/questioning.
As for the child learning to “hear” the parent… We’ve all experienced (on one side or the other) a conversation between a parent and child in which the parent is quite clearly speaking in an audible voice within the range of the child’s eardrum, and yet there seems to be no “hearing.” The child can eventually reach a place of maturity that allows him to recall and perhaps take seriously and apply the information he heard, but this does not always happen.
When it does, however, we find ourselves at the forever unanswered “nurture v/s nurture” conundrum. Good parents can produce terrible offspring, and bad parents can produce good offspring. Is it the same with God? Is he only able to do so much without our participation and cooperation? I suppose all human analogies will break down at some point when discussing spiritual matters, but that’s where my question of “dialing in” to God’s frequency comes in. The Bible tells a story of God making a donkey talk to get the attention of a certain man. I’m pretty sure that guy wasn’t “tuned in.” Until the ass started speaking, that is…
Great discussion. So If I pray to God that Jace will call me to ask me to play drums and nothing happens for a long time (if ever), I might be praying to God for the wrong thing? ;-0 Great Insights here. And thank you Jace for asking tough questions!
I am with Rachel. It’s pretty evident that God is speaking more to my heart right now,than my circumstances. That used to leave me pretty frazzled but as I open myself to hear His heart, well, I wouldn’t trade it. For example, if nothing ever changed about my circumstances, it’s priceless to have a better understanding of His character and who I am in Him. As I surrender to this process I am ‘hearing’ in a whole new way. “But this requires that we experience some signifigant stretching in the way we perceive things and how we respond.” I have a personal promise from God based on scripture that” I will prosper and be in health even as my soul prospers.” To me that indicates healing from the inside out, renewing my mind and aligning my core beliefs to truth.
As for the example given about Adam naming the animals. Great illustration. I will take that and digest it and hopefully do better. I often second guess decisions and sometimes avoid them all together out of fear of making a mistake. That is not walking in the dominion that was given to me.
Thanks Alan for the role you have played in helping me change my mind!
This may one of the greatest pieces you have written, and so timely too! I’m about to put this in practice here, but I wanted to thank you for these new (to me) tools that I am sure will help me break the silence deadlock I have been experiencing for the last several years.