I so love Paul’s transparency in this passage. Clearly, he had a tough time!

• Afflicted
• Burdened beyond strength
• Despaired of life
• Felt he had received the sentence of death

I’ve observed a tendency in myself and in others to define beliefs in reaction to error. Lately, one example of reaction to error touches on the issues of God’s goodness and sovereignty.

For many years and throughout large segments of the body of Christ the notion has existed that (1) because God is sovereign then all that occurs is an expression of his will. From this assumption it follows that (2) terrible things that happen are also expressions of his will. From this assumption it follows that (3) God is not good. Now I must admit that the first two statements are taught overtly. The third (the part about God not being good) is not overtly stated, but is nevertheless the conclusion reached by those who embrace the first two. If you don’t believe me, just spend some time with a few people who have been through very difficult things who believe these difficulties were expressions of God’s will and you will over and over again find those who hold God responsible for the evil they have experienced and suffer from a great deal of unbelief concerning the goodness of God.

There are exceptions of course. Thoughtful and deliberate theologians such as John Piper hold the first two statements while denying the third. He makes a very strong case for the following: (1) All that occurs is an expression of God’s will. (2) Terrible things that happen are also an expression of his will. (3a) God is good.

Piper is able to hold to these three statements by looking at “goodness” from a different perspective. By making this move, he is able to see how God wills that which doesn’t seem good to us because he has a greater agenda which will bring the ultimate good – namely, the magnification of his own glory.

It is my opinion that if (1) & (2) above are both true, then Piper is necessarily correct about (3a). I simply disagree with him about (1) & (2).

I do not think scripture supports the assumption that God sovereignly controls all things. Plenty of choices are made in scripture that are opposed to God’s will. It follows from this that God didn’t make these choices, for his will is not opposed to his own will. If this is the case it follows that (1a) God is good. (2a) Creatures at times make choices in opposition to God’s good will. (3b) When terrible things happen they are not from God.

Now I like this much better and can make a strong biblical case for this view. I do, however, have a difficulty with this view. It fails to recognize the distinction between God being the author of suffering and God having a purpose for us within suffering.

The passage I began with illustrates this so well. Paul has been through a very difficult season. No where does he state that God is the cause of the difficulties but he clearly states that God has a purpose for Paul within the difficulties, namely, to move Paul from a place of self-reliance to a place of full reliance upon God alone. The clear statement regarding God’s activity in regards to the difficulty is that God works to deliver us from the difficulty.

So, there is a tension between two truths we must hold simultaneously. First, suffering does not come from God who is the one who delivers us. Second, God always has a purpose for us within suffering; he never wastes our pain. For those, like me, who see as error the view that all things, even evil things, are an expression of God’s sovereign will, we must not react to that error with an error of our own. It brings no honor to God for us to refuse to embrace God’s purpose in suffering in the name of not holding God responsible for our suffering.

Nancy, me, and our three kids are with Jon, Lauren, and their three. Jon and I are in the front, both a little bleary eyed from trading shifts driving all night. We left DFW at 11:30pm last night. I have that sick to your stomach feeling  I used to get at lock-ins when I was a youth pastor. This is why I’m not a youth pastor any more.

Nancy and Lauren are on the bench behind. Lauren woke up about half an hour ago when we hit Baton Rouge traffic. She’s leaning against the side of the van now and gazing out the window at Louisiana flying by at 80 miles per hour. Nancy is still sleeping, contorted in a position certain to require a neck and shoulder massage later in the day.

On the two benches behind are various configurations of children. Teddy (seven) is watching a movie on my iPhone. The others, all teenagers or nearly teenagers are spread out in a mad pile of legs, arms, blankets and pillows. Lauren, Cara, and Anna in one pile. Noah, Roman and Teddy in another. Noah and Roman don’t seem too disturbed by Teddy’s early morning activities. Give them time.

I’ve known Jon since I was 14 years old, Lauren since I was 16, about the same time Nancy moved to Texas from New York and into my life. We grew up in church together, went our seperate ways for a season, and then life brought us back together again in our very early twenties. We’ve been good friends ever since.

You can’t replace the kind of history we’ve shared. Marriage, pregnancies, kids, moves, ministry, weeks, months, years, decades. We know each other’s stories. We tell some of the best ones over and over. No one else would get it. You had to be there. To them I’m not “Pastor” Alan. I’m just Alan. They’re comfortable to be with in a way difficult to put into words. Nancy and Lauren are like sisters. In some ways they are very different and yet they seem to go together in a way that brings out the best in both of them. I think they’re both more beautiful because of each other. Jon and I are alike in many ways but also very different. He can fix anything. He’s an outdoorsman and is about all things fishing and camping. I go along for the ride because I enjoy his company. Besides, he has all the gear. I admire him a lot.

No one tells a story like Jon. I’m certain that there will be at least ten moments in the next week where me, Nancy, and Lauren will be unable to breathe because we’re laughing so hard our ab muscles are completely locked up, tears coming down our face, hoping for some moment in the latest anecdote that will allow us to inhale once or twice.

Friendship is a precious thing. I’ve been blessed through the years with some amazing friendships, each unique and precious in its own way. I think friendship is like farming. It takes time to prepare the ground, plant the seed, and allow time to do what only time can do. But the harvest is worth it.

Meditation is Scriptural

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. ” (Joshua 1:8, ESV)

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. ” (Psalm 19:14, ESV)

“We have thought on your steadfast love, O God, in the midst of your temple. ” (Psalm 48:9, ESV)

“My mouth shall speak wisdom; the meditation of my heart shall be understanding. ” (Psalm 49:3, ESV)

“when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; ” (Psalm 63:6, ESV)

“I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.” Then my spirit made a diligent search: ” (Psalm 77:6, ESV)

“I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. ” (Psalm 77:12, ESV)

“May my meditation be pleasing to him, for I rejoice in the Lord. ” (Psalm 104:34, ESV)

“I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. ” (Psalm 119:15, ESV)

“I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. ” (Psalm 119:99, ESV)

“My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promise. ” (Psalm 119:148, ESV)

What is Meditation?
The Hebrew word translated “meditation” has two roots. The first root means to mutter or speak in a low voice. The second means to consider something inwardly or to be occupied with an idea. Meditation therefore involves the focus of my thoughts and words upon a particular idea. In scripture we see that the object of our meditation is either scripture (the Law, his precepts, etc.), the deeds or works of God (his testimonies, his might acts in scripture, the works one has personally experienced in life, etc.), or the attributes of God’s nature and character (his goodness, love, etc.).

Everyone Knows How to Meditate
Anyone who has struggled with either fear or lust knows how to meditate, inwardly considering scenarios, ideas, and images in ways that powerfully affect and shape our inner world. Most, however, have not learned to intentionally harness this capacity in the manner in which it was designed.

How to Meditate
1. Memorize a phrase or verse from the Bible. Though you can choose an attribute of God or consider a story from your own life when God demonstrated his faithfulness and power, I find it is best to begin with a particular section of scripture. Start with something short. I find it best to consider a verse or phrase which speaks of who God is (his goodness, nearness or power for instance) or who I am in Christ.

2. Choose a time. The Bible speaks of meditating all day, morning and evening, day and night. There’s no bad time to meditate. If you’re a beginner, you shouldn’t start with the “all day” goal. I recommend setting aside 20 minutes toward the beginning of your day. It has been my experience that setting aside a particular time for focused meditation actually affects the occupation of your thoughts throughout the day.

3. Choose a place. Find a quiet place that’s free from distraction. If it’s aesthetically pleasant and peaceful for you, all the better. Calm is important and if your environment contributes to this it will be helpful. At the very least, locate a spot that doesn’t work against you.

4. Choose a posture. No – you don’t have to sit cross-legged on the floor with your hands in a particular position. You do, however, need to find a position you can maintain without movement for 20 minutes. Slouching, crossing one leg over the other, and things like that will require you to shift positions frequently because of their effect on your circulation. I find it helpful to sit in comfortable chair (not a recliner) with both feet flat on the floor in front of you. Sit up straight and rest your hands palm down on your legs. There is nothing special about sitting in this position other than the fact that it allows you to not be distracted by how you’re sitting at all.

5. Turn your inward focus upon God’s presence. Jesus promised he would never leave you. 2 Cor 3:16 tells us that when we turn to the Lord the veil is removed (revelation occurs). Simply choose to be aware that God is with you and choose to be aware of nothing else. You might find it helpful to breathe deeply. Meditation is an act of the mind and body.

6. Bring to mind the verse or phrase from scripture you desire to meditate on. Begin to repeatedly rehearse this phrase or verse in your mind. As you do so, maintain your awareness of God’s presence.

7. Once you feel you are inwardly quiet and fully occupied with both God’s presence and the truth of scripture, begin to speak that phrase or verse from scripture repeatedly. No need to do it loudly or dramatically. Remember, the root word means to mutter quietly. You are now meditating on scripture!

What is Keeping You from the Father? – Alan Smith | Teaching Audio

AlanSmith_Sermon_WhatsInMyAccount

This is the message I gave last weekend at Crossroads Church in Decatur, TX.

It’s about responsibility. Specifically – who is responsible for who and what? If this piece is not right little else will matter. Since Adam & Eve people have been getting this one wrong. Adam blamed God and Eve for his choices. Eve blamed the devil. I blame the guy who cut me off in traffic for my anger. You blame your unhappiness on your boss, your job, your spouse, your kids, your dad, your mom…

I’m not ok and it’s not my fault. This is the filter through which most people judge things. What if it’s a totally wrong assumption?

This one wrong assumption about reality has an unbelievable ripple effect. If I’m not responsible for how I’m doing and others are responsible, then it follows that others must have control over my inner reality.

“He makes me so mad!” is a common expression of this assumption. If others have control over my inner world then this implies one person can control another. If others are controlling me then it follows that to some extent I can control them. This is why blame always leads to control. We seek to control those who we hold responsible for our pain in an effort to reduce pain and avoid responsibility.

That’s the big one. Who exactly is responsible for my internal world? If I’m unhappy then who is to blame? Others who make decisions that “make me” feel this or that are to blame. To correct this I seek to control their decisions. Or, I hold myself responsible for their decisions. Specifically I hold myself responsible to make sure justice is done and things are made right concerning their decisions. I do this with my anger, resentment, passive-aggression, or any of a number of other methods we all know.

They are responsible for my pain.

I am responsible for their decisions.

This is the problem.

When I forgive I choose to release my sense of responsibility for justice concerning their decisions. Their decisions are their own – between them and God. At the same time I choose to release them from responsibility for my pain. My pain is my own. They are not my source of peace, joy, contentment, satisfaction, love, value or anything else. If they are not my source, then they are not in control of my inner world. If they are not my source then they cannot cut off my supply. No matter what they do.

If I’m not ok, I have no one to blame. But God is my source, so I’m not left alone. I have a place I can bring my pain, receive healing, and a fresh supply of all those things that can only come from Him. But it has to be my pain I bring Him. I can’t bring him the pain I hold everyone else responsible for. I can’t have Him for a source if my blame of others proves that in fact they’re my source instead of Him.

Blame and control are killers. Taking responsibility for my own inner reality makes blame and control nonsensical. When I take responsibility for my inner world I take my place as the rightful delegated steward of that which God has given me. When I’m rightly aligned with God’s delegated stewardship I can receive from Him all that is needed to maintain peace and joy regardless of circumstances or the choices of others.

Apart from forgiveness I abdicate my responsibility and perpetuate the cycle of blame and control ongoing since Adam and Eve. I’m tired of living that way. You?

The first implication of this truth is that I am responsible for how I’m doing. Me. No one else. My decisions, emotions, attitudes, outlook – I am responsible for every bit of it. When I really embrace this reality it removes the weapon of blame from my arsenal entirely. If I am unhappy, it is not my parent’s fault, or my spouse’s fault (not that it ever would be babe!), or my kids’, or my boss’, or the church, or the guy that cut in front of me in traffic. No one has the power to make me unhappy except me. Unless I give them that power. Now why would I do that? Why would I give away my responsibility for how I’m doing to someone else? It’s simple. If I’m responsible for me, if I can’t blame someone else, then the need to pursue transformation is mine. If the responsibility is mine, then I am responsible. Blaming others is easier, so we give our responsibility away and in doing so give others control over us that they really don’t have. Do this for a few decades and you will find that the thought that others might not actually have the power over you they seem to have will seem quite ludicrous.

The second implication of this truth is that I am not responsible for how others are doing. You are responsible for you. I am not. If you are unhappy it is not my job to fix it. If you are headed down a destructive path it is your path and the outcome is not in my hands. Your problems are not my problems. My anxiety or worry on your behalf is not helpful. When I embrace this truth the weapon of control is removed from my arsenal entirely. I have no need to control you through guilt, manipulation, anger, passive aggression, dramatic emotion. If you are not responsible for how I’m doing why would I need to? If I am not responsible for how you’re doing, then what could I possibly hope to gain through such tactics? When I embrace this truth I am no longer free to dodge my need to deal with my own issues by choosing to be consumed or controlled by yours.

This way of seeing things is quite powerful. No matter the prison on the outside, you are free to be ok on the inside. Regardless of your circumstances, you can be at peace, experience joy, and know love. As long as you believe one person can control another, you will never have this power.

Isaiah 55:1-3

That which satisfies cannot be earned. That which can be purchased will never satisfy. Grace is the only way to fulfillment. There are many attempting to live out something they call Christianity through what they can do. If they can learn enough they will arrive. If they can discipline themselves to pray, read their Bible, go to church, tithe, you name it, then they will mature. Neither learning or doing produce growth. Salvation is a work of grace from start to finish. This doesn’t mean I have no part to play or that my part doesn’t make a difference. I do and it does. But salvation is a work of grace. This means that salvation doesn’t depend upon what I know or what I do. Salvation depends upon what He has done.

If the things I learn and the things I do are not based upon Christ’s finished work then no lasting spiritual progress can be made. Faith without works is dead. This is unquestionably true. But faith is not “in” my works. Faith points to something beyond me. My faith is in Christ and in His full, finished and final provision - His death, resurrection, and ascension. Faith without works is dead, not because of the merit of works but rather because of the merit of what Christ has accomplished. Faith rightly aimed at Christ receives a grace that transforms. Works evidence this transformation, the grace which causes the transformation, and the faith which receives the grace that transforms.

So I come with nothing to receive something. There is no cost. It cannot be earned. But what I receive in this way truly satisfies.